Myself up to date.

The two most recent pictures of myself, as taken with my Droid X.

♥Myshappy

Photo dump! (Heavy)

Instead of writing something mind blowing (or numbing) you get a photo dump from the last...however long!

My 23rd Birthday.  Hide got me a surprise birthday cake, and dropped it off at the restaurant we were at!

At the fountain near the Space Needle.  Memorial day weekend, for Folk Life <3

At Sakura Con.  Where we meet HANGRY&ANGRY designer Gashicon!!!

Calah and I being H&A.

I just liked the pockets...

Hamming it up with some makeup and a wig.

Alyssa's Birthday!

Savanna's birthday!  Then more Sakura Con. -->

Gashicon and I matched as Hangry and Angry.

At the beach with Emily and Manda.

More make up ham!

Super fun last day with Hannah before she went to Japan.  <3  Yuki and Manda too!

♥Myshappy

Technology hates me.

So as of late the two most important pieces of technology I own decided to give me the big "fuck you!"

First, my phone decided that it didn't want to have a screen anymore.  Instead I needed to blindly fumble around to try and do things on it.  AKA USELESS.  I think that started up about a month ago.  So basically I didn't have a phone for a month.

Second, I woke up one morning to a fantastic sight.  You see, recently my cat has been having flea problems.  She's normally a neurotic little thing, and the fleas have been causing her to rip out her fur.  And apparently eat it, according to the hairballs.  So one day about two or three weeks ago I got up and went to the couch to do some internetting and watch some tele.  Well.  Try to turn the computer on and can't properly move the cursor....So I turn it off.  And notice something dripping out of it.  Pull out the SD card I had in, and sure enough, it drips more.   Look around and notice, "Oh, hey.  Cat threw up on my laptop."  FUCK.

Manda's dad came by last week to try and clean it out (After the people at Best Buy were USELESS to help us find electronic cleaner.  Kept trying to sell us compressed air...)  He ended up having to take it home with him to work on.  A couple days went by and he said it was looking good.  Then the other day he called back and said the good new was he could probably save all my files.  Bad news was he probably can't save my laptop.

So now I'm pretty much in a fork out hundreds of dollars for a new laptop out of no where situation.  Haven't cried about it yet though.

The good news though is that Manda's dad also got me a temporary/possibly permanent phone.  It's an old one they used to use, a Droid X.  Still it great order, so I'm pretty happy about that.

All my files being away, though, kind of puts a damper on my using my sudden energy to post.

Oh well!  Next post is going to be a random photo dump!

♥ Myshappy

What Dir en grey means to me.

I literally just wrote about how I'd make posts about recent events.  But instead I'd like to start with something very near and dear to my heart that just came up.  Do you have something in your life that should be trivial but brings out more emotions than anything else?  So important that it's like your best friend, your lover, even your family?

That's what Dir en grey is to me.  

I know it sounds stupid.  But hear me out.  

I first learned about Dir en grey when I was living in Arizona, during the beginning of eighth grade.  I'd moved  to Arizona a few months earlier because my parents were getting a divorce.  It was a really horrible experience.  My brothers and I went down to stay with my dad's parents for the summer to help out, and we were supposed to go back to Washington for the school year.  My mom called one day in August to tell us we weren't going home, we were staying there permanently.  So basically we didn't get to say goodbye to our friends or anything.  To make matters worse my grandparents were less than desirable.  Don't get me wrong, I love them.  But they are very set in their ways.  And my grandma just doesn't like anything I like, or want me to look the way I want to.  They grew up in hard times in England, and it showed.  My grandma has a history that makes her the way it does.  I just don't know it.  And I was young, trying to become my own person, and angry.  A lot of little things happened down there.  To name a few:  I had no friends outside of school,  my dad called my grandma drunk and yelled at her til we found her on the floor crying in her house, and I found out my dad put our 20 year old cat to sleep because he wasn't willing to put the effort into caring for her anymore.  All in all it was a bad time.  But I had good friends who I talked to online and they helped a little.  But it made me really homesick.

I learned about Dir en grey from my friend Jeanette-Lynn around the same time we found out my grandma on my moms side had cancer.  A few months into the school year we moved back to Washington.  I basically had two days notice to grab my things, then we were driving home.  We moved back into my grandma's house and stayed with her and her new husband.  To help take care of her, and until we found somewhere.  A few months into knowing she had cancer my grandma had to have her leg amputated, because it was becoming gangrenous.  To make a very long painful story short, because that's definitely for another day, my grandma didn't survive cancer.  Before her passing we moved out, and into the town I live in now.  I was starting high school, and that has it's ups and downs.  

High school has a lot of pain for pretty much everyone.  I'm no exception.  It leaves you with abandonment, discouragement, basically every negative feeling you can think of.  Of course, there are ups and definitely wonderful times.  But not always. 

After High school my life hasn't changed much.  There's a lot of downs to go with it.  Those never go away.

But through all of this and more Dir en grey has always been there for me.  The first song I heard by them was Garden.  I was hooked.  Their visuals were beautiful.  Are beautiful.  

And of course, being a pre-teen/teen I was definitely in love with their physical beauty.  To this very day no matter what Toshiya does I can't help but love him.  He's my perfect man, through all the bad hair ideas and weird outfits.  There is not a member of that band that I do not find attractive.  But that's not what I love about them.  They're so much more than that.

When I was hurting they gave me something to be obsessed with.  I spent so many nights trying to find music and videos and new pictures.  I know it wasn't long ago, but it was back in the day when these things weren't easy to find.  Japanese music was still underground to America.  I could find a few things on limewire (back in it's height) and a few specialty sites here and there.  It was like some epic quest to find the music I wanted to hear and I loved it.  It took my mind off of things.  When I was sad I'd put my headphones in and listen to the new song I found.  Old song, really.  Nothing too current when it started.  But eventually I got better at finding things. I found people who liked the same music.  Shortly after finding them I introduced Syl to them and we were both in love.

Beyond the chase that excited me there was the sheer beauty of the music.  It touched my heart.  It made me smile.  It could drive me to tears.  Eventually it became the CD I listened to to fall asleep at night.  

Japanese music lead me to take Japanese in high school, which was one the best decisions I've ever made in my life.  If it weren't for that I would have never met Amanda Leigh.  I would never have made so many relationships with exchange students.  I would have never gone to Japan.  Twice.  

Through learning Japanese I began to understand the lyrics better.  I began to understand why, without knowing the language, the songs connected to me so much.  All the lyrics mirrored my own pain.  Kyo was singing about the same things I was feeling.  He felt it too.  As corny as it sounds, it was reassuring.  Knowing someone felt the same hurt.

As I grew, so did Dir en grey.  They went out of fashion, as it were.  The new little bands were getting bigger and they were being pushed to the side.  They stopped being so visual.  The genre they helped create hardly considered them part of it anymore.  Fans came and went because of their progressive style.  No CD ever came out the same.  Dir en grey evolves as it goes.  It's own entity that can't be kept down.  I can't count the amount of people who tell me they hate the style of such and such CD.  I don't care.  I love all of it.  Not all of it is my favorite, of course.  But how can you hate it?

I'm going all over the place.  But it's hard to talk about because I don't think people will ever truly understand it.

When I was eighteen I finally got to see them in concert.  I almost got to see them in the Family Values tour, but missed the opportunity. (I heard they walked off stage or something, so I'm glad now)  They were headlining and had the Human Abstract with them.  Amanda and I got in line around nine in the morning to wait.  By eleven they told us we were blocking the street, so the venue (Showbox at the Market) gave us all place holder tickets and told us to come back later.  We went to the Asian market with some of the girls in line and had a great time.  Some of them I still talk to.  Some of them are still great close friends of mine.  Others were passing.  We went back at night and got into the show.  I was in the second row behind amanda, holding behind her so she wouldn't be crushed.  We suffered through the openers (They were great really, but it was anticipation killing us).  At one point I looked towards the green room and caught my first real life glimpse of Die.  He was watching the band play, looking so happy.  I made the mistake of telling someone and a whole group of girls looked and started screaming.  Eventually Dir en grey got on stage.

If I could bottle the feeling of seeing them for the first time...It was the first feeling of religion.  I have never been a very religious person, but I finally understood the feeling that people get when they kneel down, close their eyes, and give God all their emotion.   No, they aren't gods to me.  They're normal people, who let their feelings out through music.  But standing there is the closest I've ever gotten to Nirvana.  And those shows are church to me.  The feeling I get standing in a mosh pit with my closest friends and complete strangers is incomparable.  So many people with one emotion.  Honestly indescribable.    

Kyo stood, at one point, without music playing.  He screamed.  He made awful terrible sounds, like those from a horror story.  No one spoke.  No one made a single sound.  Kyo just let out energy and emotion into the air and left it there.  It was chilling.  It somehow turned you on, scared you, and left you speechless all at the same time.

I've seen them twice since.  At the second two shows there was nothing exactly like that scene.  Both shows were different and amazing.  But that will always be burned into my memory.  

At the second show I met Calah and Savanna.  At the first I met Rose and Shelby.  Some of the closest and sweetest people I have in my life.  And at the third, we traveled all the way down to Texas to see them, and I got to spend the time with two of my best friends and see a friend I never get to see at all.

Dir en grey has given me friends I never would have met.  Whom I hold more dearly than practically anyone else.  I've had hard times they helped me through.  I can honestly say they've saved my life more than once.  Their dedication for their country and the truth they need is inspiring in ways that are impossible to understand.  Dir en grey give me inspiration to be truer to myself.  

I know not all my friends like them.  Some hate them.  And that's fine.  We don't have to agree.  You don't even need to respect any of this.  But it's how I feel.

If I ever meet them, and have a chance to speak with them, I would like to let them know how much they've made my life something worth living.  I will thank them some day.

♥ Myshappy




The final was the first song played on American television my Dir en grey.  When you're at an American show the air shifts when this song starts.  The whole crowd sings and dances. It might not be this way for the rest of the world.  But every show I've heard this at was the highlight.  Not your favorite song, but a significant memory burned into their history.

New job~

Firstly, I don't apologize for my lack of posts.  I have a life, respect it or don't.  And I really haven't been online as much as I used to, even when I'm not at work.  Now that's not saying I've been super busy.  It's just saying I've been busy, and when I'm not I tend to lounge and not type.

That being said it's been forever!  A lot of things have happened, I'm sure, but I won't be able to remember them all.  In fact, I'll be posting separate entries for each topic so that I don't have one mega-text entry.They might all happen today, maybe in a few days, or maybe a few months.  Who knows!  It's a surprise!


So this one is a little update to let you all know I got a second job~  Which makes me even more busy.

But my wonderful friend Calah got me a job with her at BCBG Max Azria <3

I'm working the evenings so I can do both jobs, and am Stock Support.  I...haven't done any stock yet.  Just been on the floor.  But that's fine too.

And the reason I can do this is because I am now the opening manager at my other job!  Yay!  Except working at 4am then working again until 8pm or so.  But it's whatever.

Point is!  Busy! Calah is love!  Yeah.


♥ Myshappy

Scariest truck ever.

More than once when I was trekking around Shibuya I ran across the scariest truck in existence.  The first time I saw it, I tried to get a photo but things kept getting in the way.

Lucky me, I saw it again.  I say lucky lightly.

Truck of nightmares.

The disturbing Sadako coming out of a Television truck is to promote the new Sadako 3D movie.  Which I didn't get to see.

It was a sight though.  Tons of people would see it and flip out their cell phones to get a picture.  Made me feel less touristy.

♥ Myshappy

Japan Photos are coming!

Never fear!  The first step of uploading them all has been almost fully accomplished.

It's just that I have about a thousand images to weed through, and organize before I can upload them.

Post won't be about days.  They'll probably be about topics.  Or an image itself.  Who knows!  Point is with some subtle (or being told...) pushing, I'm back to working on it.  And some art too!  (Oh my god, no way!) Uploading old stuff, anyhow.  Got to catch up.  I'm also going to be posting all my new art on a blog I decided would be my temporary art blog.

I'll give you the link when I have it ready.

But get excited.  Mediocre pictures are coming.

♥ Myshappy

Back to normal life.

I sort of fell way behind in the Japan updates.  But that's okay.  The point is I still have the memories, and will upload photos soon!

Part of the reason is I've been sucked back into normal life.  Lots of working, and other busy things.  So I haven't had much time to put into my internet life~ Well, not time to focus on it.

Work has been busy busy. I'm becoming a Manager (yay!) so I've got some extra work to do there.  And I've trained new employees three days a week for the last two weeks.  Very time consuming and a little stressful.

I promise I will remedy this!

On another note~  It's father's day.  Last year I did a little post about Miyavi.  My father situation is less than lovely, so to talk about it would be a downer~  I forgot it was fathers' day until I was already at work.  So I didn't get to call my dad, or my mom's boyfriend.  I feel a little bad about the second one, I may call in the morning.

But this brings up another topic!  If I made a post last year...that means this blog is a year old!

I would like to do a special series of posts, or just one straight up special post to commemorate it.....but what?

If you have any ideas please let me know!

I need help!

♥ Myshappy

Going about this wrong.

Again, I'm sorry about the lack of actual updates recently!

But I realize I've been going about this all wrong.

The reason there have been no updates is because it's actually become something I dread doing.  I hate the idea of having to sit down and write every day out.  And feeling like I have to make something for every day I didn't do anything exciting.

So I'm not going to be doing it day by day anymore.

I'll be lumping days together, writing about interesting things or places on their own, and in general enjoying telling my stories.

This should be a chore.  It's supposed to be fun.

So I'm going to be changing my set up!

I hope you like it more.

♥ Myshappy

Blog goals for the rest of the month!

My blog goals for the rest of the month are:

• Get up to date with my Japan trip.
• Reach 5k pageviews! Only 400 to go.
• Obtain 20 followers! Only need 6!

These aren't hard goals, but I need your help with two of them!  If you read this blog regularly, why not make a google plus account and be updated with a new post is up?

And send this blog to your friends, who might have an interest~!

I'd really love to reach my humble goals~

♥ Myshappy

Sincerest Apologies~

I'm so sorry!  Apparently my blog disappeared from the ether for a day or so.  So sorry!!

I'm working on putting up a website (With help too late!) so things got kind of messy.

I've also not kept up to date, and I'm trying to catch up!

So stay tuned.

And as an apology....

Here's a nifty Italian band.

♥ Myshappy

(You'll have to pause the blogs BGM)

母の日 - Happy Mothers Day

I've never really celebrated Mother's Day how it should be done.  I've called my mom, and told her I loved her.  I've gone out to dinner with her.  I've even bought her presents.  But I've never really let my mom know how much she means to me.

No, we don't have one of those best friend relationships.  No, we aren't constant enemies.  For the most part we get along, and sometimes we fight.  Sometimes she has opinions I don't see eye to eye with her on.  But that's something we have to get over as people.

When I think about my family, she's the only constant.  My brothers fade in and out of existence, and my Dad is all but nonexistent.  But my mom is the only person who always comes to mind when someone says family.

When is was in 8th grade, I realized the worst feeling I could ever feel.  When you're crying, because it's all feels hopeless, and the strongest person you know is crying and feeling the same.  It's impossible to think anythings going to get better.  My mom is the strongest person I know.  She's just like her mother before her.  That was when my oldest brother moved to Idaho, basically because he had no options left here.  

Then my grandmother died.  I refused to cry in front of her.  I refused to cry in front of anyone.  But if my mom was putting on a brave face, then so was I.  Since then I've let my guard down.  I've cried about it.  I still cry about it.  When we went to visit my brother in Idaho for his daughters first birthday, I cried to my mom in a furniture store because a room reminded me of my grandma's house.  But I couldn't cry then.

It's hard to talk to my mom about some things.  I don't want her to be disappointed in me.  I don't want her to see me fail.  I've let her down before.  And it hurt every single time.

But sometimes I need her to realize that I live my life for me.  I can't be held accountable for what my brothers have done before me.  And if I make a mistake, I'm the one who has to fix it.  And I will, in my own time.

She didn't really want me to go to Japan.  She was worried.

Whenever I brought it up, she'd make a bit of a sour face.  I know it's because she worried.  She told me that.  And I understand.  I can't imagine how hard it would be to let your child go to another country alone, to meet people they've never met before.

She didn't stop me, she even helped me.  

When I moved into my apartment beforehand, she was the one person who never said a single bad thing about it.  She always had faith in me, and my room mates.  My mom helped us move, and even let us have some of her old furniture.  When we told her boyfriend, and Amanda's dad that they couldn't stay in the apartment while we weren't there she was glad.  Everyone else said it was rude.  She was proud.

Sometimes, when I think about my mom, I want to cry.

It's one of the biggest fears of mine that she'll get sick.  That she might get Cancer.  I don't care if I do, I would much prefer it.  But I'm not as strong as her.  I couldn't handle it.  I would rather suffer than watch her die.

I've learned so much from her.

You're always polite.  Always.  You're never rude to people, and you certainly don't yell or get mad at them.  But when you do, they deserve it.  If she's yelling at someone, they've done something WRONG.  

I learned how to deal with my father from her.  When he's drunk and fighting with you, the second he starts swearing you walk away.  It's not worth it, because he's not listening anymore.

Everything I know about how to be a good upstanding person, I learned from her.  When people are rude in public, I think "If I ever did that my mom would have smacked me across the face."  Something she's never done.  But I would never do those things, because I was raised right.

My brothers and I may not be perfect, and we may have our flaws...but you can be certain that my mom knows how to raise children right because we're not spoiled, and we're good people.  We don't have undeserved self entitlement.  We're not rude, we're not mean.  

She raised us right.  Almost alone.  I have a thousand memories of my father doing wrong.  Of ruined holidays, special events that he made bad.  But not a single one of my mother.  She's never done anything bad.  Not to me.

Middle School, and all of High School was just me, my mom, and my brother.  And we survived.  She made sure of it.

When my friends, or people I see, complain that their lives were so hard I always shrug it off and tell them that mine was fine.  Nothing that bad ever happened to me.  Sure, I've had problems.  But my mom made sure I had a good childhood, regardless.  She was always stable.  Always.

The last message I sent my mother, a day or so ago, wasn't very kind.  I didn't say anything mean, but it was short and choppy.  I was annoyed by things she'd said, and how she treated my late response to her message.  I regret it, especially being mother's day.  When I looked at her facebook, I saw this posted on her page from the day I left for Tokyo.

"Michelle left for Japan today, when she called at 4 am and said she had made it to the airport i was excited, when she got to LA for her connecting flight and sent me a message I was happy it was going smoothly, but when I got the text saying " Love you mommy and see you in June" Just before takeoff to Japan, I cried. Tokyo is a long way away. Safe trip Michelle and love you too. Have a blast."

I cried.  I tried not to, but the tears wouldn't stop.

I cry every time I read it.  I keep crying while writing this.

I understand this post has been all over the place, and is hard to read.  But the only message that needs to be read, and understood at all is this.

I love my mom more than anything.  She is the strongest person I know, and will ever meet.  She is my Superhero.  If I can become half of what she is before I die, I'll know I've accomplished something.

Mom, I love you, and I miss you.  

Thank you for everything.  Someday I'll make you proud.

-Michelle

April 2011 - Mom and Me.

Day 4 - Meguro THE LIVE STATION

Yet another day where I woke up at 7am....this is becoming annoying.  I tried to lay around until a decent time, and made it to 8am.  Good enough.  Kim finished getting ready for the day and headed out.  I pondered a bit for what to do, with no actual plans until 5pm.  Which made the decision for me to not do anything big, since I would need time later.

I got sort of ready and decided to go to the 100en shop and find a new make up brush for my foundation.  The one I have is pretty small, and not at all like the one I have at home that Amanda uses.  So off to the 100en shop!  

Nothing much happened there.  I got the make up brush, some Q-tips, some presents for people, and false eyelashes.  Unfortunately I broke one of the eyelashes when I got home ><  Lucky it's a two pair pack!  And the brush is a little stiff...but I suppose it did it's job.  I may find a softer one.  Don't like it too much.

Put on my make up for the day.  I wanted something a little more dramatic than what I'd been having, but nothing too out there.  Just some pink with a long cat eye.  And gloss.

Just showing you I have Jack Skellington hands.

Shirt from Old Navy, skirt part of a one piece from Hot Topic, and tights from Doll Kiss.  Oh, and Alice in Wonderland socks from Walmart! xD

Leaving the house, I decided to just wander around, so I went into Suitengumae station, and took a random exit out.  It was quite the populated area.  I was surprise.  But I walked for a long time, before finally deciding to head back and grab some food.

So I headed to Mcdonalds, my safe alternative.  I feel odd going into actual restaurants alone, so I opt for fast food.  Not healthy, nor too cheap, but it's more comfortable.

Today the girl at the register tried to speak english to me.  It was very cute!  I ordered something new.  The Ebi Filet.  Which, for those that don't know what Ebi is, is a shrimp filet.  So, Ebi Filet, fries, and Qoo.

Something I really like about Mcdonalds Japan is that when you're missing an item, instead of having you wait for everything, or not remembering your face when they have you sit down, they give you a nice little "Your order will be with you soon!" sign. With a number and everything, so they know what you're getting.

A perfect excuse for fresh fries.

The ebi filet looked pretty good, and I was excited to try it.  Mostly because it's something new and, well, I like shrimp.   It was pretty tasty.  I don't think I'll get it again,  but it wasn't bad.  Especially if you only eat seafood, it's a good alternative to the Fish Filet (Which I've never though looked good.)

Slight mess on the wrapper of mustard!  I took a photo because it reminds me of my co-worker Stacy and how messy he is.

Yum Yum insides.

So immediately afterwards I headed downstairs and got on the train.  My first train ride alone, from start to finish!  How exciting LOL.  All in all it was a painless easy ride.  From Suitengumae to Nagatacho, then from there to Meguro.  Busy station, but not bad.  Then I had to wait for Anna and Daria.  We agreed to meet at the East entrance.

Only problem was I couldn't find the east entrance ><  Only the west and central.  So I wandered around.  I'd gotten there about 40 minutes early in case of this, so it was no problem.  But I walked FOREVER.  Until I finally found a map with the right directions on it.

Graffiti.

More Graffiti in Meguro.

As it turns out, there is a second exit. Across the street.  In another building.  Who knew?  

So I hurried over to find Anna and Daria waiting, and I hurried up to them apologizing.  They laughed about it, and we set off.  Apparently the doors didn't open until 6, but Anna hadn't been sure, and thought maybe the show started at six.

I hadn't met Daria before.  She's a very pretty girl, a little taller than me and a little older than me, from Russia.  She's very sweet, and a little shy.  

So we headed over to get some coffee from Dotour.  It's a cute little coffee chain.  I opted out of a drink for a while.  We chatted about lives, and about fashion.  Out of no where Daria commented that I "don't look American"  that I must "look German or something like that."  To which Anna agreed.  I was like "What? Why??"  They both agreed that I looked "Too punk to be American."  I chuckled and told them I was from Seattle.  It's different.

Anna agreed and we talked about how all the parts of America are different than what's on TV.

Anna bought me hot cocoa.

THE LIVE STATION in Meguro.

FINALLY it was time to go to the show.  But we had to run to 711 for Anna to pull out money first.  Then over to the live! It was in an odd little underground spot.  You would walk in, then go down two flights of stairs, then you were at the door.  

Total it cost 3000en, with the ticket and drink card.  Not too bad.  And in we went.

Anna explained to me that the headliners, Aresz, usually has pretty strict rules for photography, so I had to be careful.  No problem.

The little tiny bar spot.

Merch.

You can hardly see it but here is the fence.

I was surprised by how small the venue was.  I'm used to the ones back in Seattle, where even if the main floor is small, there is a second story.  Anna explained that this was usual for Live houses in Japan.  Sometimes they were bigger, but not often.

My drink ticket, on my leg lol.

We set our bags down near the wall, and took up camp, waiting for people to arrive.

Again, I was surprised.  

By the time the show started...including us, there were only 16 people.  I was amazed beyond belief.  

I understand, for how known Aresz is, they're still not big time popular, and the other two bands aren't either.  Don't get me wrong, they're all great.  But I guess that's an explanation.

Aresz started the show.  They were amazing.  The singer has such a powerful voice.  And such stage presence.  She was really great to watch.  And the music was really catchy.  A little hard, but still really great.  

I think my favorite part of the whole evening was watching the Bangya.  (Bangya is basically the term for VK fangirls, though more intense.  There's very little way to fully describe the feeling they give.)  I  picked up some of the movements they did to the songs,  but a lot of them you had to know the lyrics to properly do.  And I didn't want to put myself out there too much, because I know it's not easy to be accepted by Bangya.  So I just stayed in my corner and interacted when I could XD

I also learned that the singer for Aresz talks SUPER FAST when she's doing MC.  Another Aresz fact is that one of the guitarists is pretty freaking Hot.  Especially when he takes off his coat, and his nice guitarist arms are showing.  Dirty thoughts ensued.  

Promotional picture.  Mr.  Sexy arms is the man on the left.

After their awesome set, there was about 10 minutes intermission time, so Anna explained that they usually sounded better, but the sound here was off.  I was impressed, if they sounded that good now imagine how good they could sound.

So we all went up and ordered drinks.  I got a basic Whiskey Coke.  My favorite, so I was happy.  Then I settled in to wait for the next band.  Whom I actually got a few shots of, since they're small time.

The fans of Aresz moved back from the fence, so the Back Fire fans could take the front.  I was impressed.  There's a sense of loyalty in Japan that the American fans don't really seem to understand.

Anna and Daria had been saying that Back Fire was cute, because they were obviously new.  So I was expecting amateur performance with spunk.

They kind of blew my mind.

Apparently since Anna had last seen them they had greatly improved, even she was surprised.  They seemed like an actual band who had been playing for a while, and not just "a guitar, a bass, and drums all playing at the same time."  Their vocals were really good, and their stage presence was comfortable and fun.

Afterwards, another break, and the Back Fire fans moved so the VAGU*PROJECT fans could take the front.  Still pretty impressive, to me.

Finally VAGU*PROJECT came out and started their show.  I was impressed even more.  I had heard a few clips of them, but they were better than I expected.  They performed a great show and were rather interactive with the crowd.

At one point during the show, they even threw a big yellow balloon into the crowd, to be hit around.  It was fun and pretty amusing when it hit the same girl on the head three different times.  

I took a bunch of photos for Anna.  But I don't want to post them here, so they may end up on my facebook, if I use any at all.

After VAGU ended, there was another break.  The blonde from Back Fire walked around and handed out papers for people to fill out.  Little "How did we do?" surveys.  What peoples favorite song was, if any.  How was the staging.  Anything you want to say to the members?  It was cute.  When he came over to us, Anna started to talk to him in english, and he was like "...eh?"  So Daria translated, and he gave us papers to fill out.

Since my japanese isn't good enough to go into any depth on what I thought, I wrote in japanese at the top "Sorry it's in English~!!" 

Then I filled it out in English, a little silly mind you, and even doodled on the spot to tell the blonde he had amazing hair.  Whatever.  It's not like anything I could have written would have been helpful, so I played around.

Then Aresz came back on stage.  The singer looked even more amazing, as she had curled her hair, and the guitarist had spiked his.  They looked great.  

And they were just as good if not better than before. It was sort of nice having it split into two.  Knowing what you came for, then hearing other bands, then being reminded that they're the headliners.

Second set was great, though there was a song at the very end with a lot of interaction which was hard to follow!  She kept changing it!  And unless you'd done it before it was really hard to follow.

Afterwards, people from all the bands came out and went to their merch spot to sell their items and talk to the fans.  

Anna introduced me to members of VAGU*PROJECT, and they were very sweet.  Then we bought the Demo CD for Back Fire for only 100en.  They seemed pretty grateful.  Then back to VAGU.  After waiting for a bit because he was talking to the girls in front of us, Anna was so kind and sweet and bought me three pins and a CD~

Anna and her hide plush, and Daria's hide plush~

Then we headed out.  On the way out the door we talked to the singer, who looked just incredibly in pain.  He has a bad neck, and hurt it, so he was hunched over.  He just looked so sad.  He even said, in japanese, that it hurt so much he wanted to cry. : (  We told him to rest, and that he did a great job, then headed out.  Back to the train station. 

I'd forgotten which random train I'd used to get there (Namboku line...), so I took the same train as Anna and Daria to Shibuya, then we parted ways.  I thanked them for the great time, and said see you later!  Then I hurried down to the platform.

My Back Fire demo, Vagu*Project pins, and Single.

When I got to the platform, the doors had just closed for my train, so I had to wait another five minutes.  No big deal.  I leaned on a pillar and waited.  While I was standing there a group of six or seven boys, maybe end of high school age, walked up.  The second they spotted me they started to walk over.  Swarm is actually the term I would use.  They had dyed hair, and punk clothes, and a few of them had piercings.  In general they were the hoodlum sort.  And they hadn't exactly put on the "Hi, you're a cute foreigner I want to talk to you in English~" face, more of the "Hey, foreign chick, I wanna harass you in japanese." face.  So, before they could close around me, I gave them a very nice polite smile, pushed myself off the pillar, and walked away.  Over to go take a seat around people.

Not to say they were going to do anything bad or anything.  Maybe I should have stayed.  It's nice to talk to people.  But they creeped me out, and it's best to follow your gut instincts sometimes.  So I think I'm glad I walked away.

I got home, and messaged Anna that I was safe.  Snuck into my room around midnight, and went to sleep.

It was a great time and I'm SO happy I got to experience it!

♥Myshappy

Teaser for day 5:  He remembered me...

Plane Art

I like to pretend that people I don't know in person read this blog, so here we go.  

If you didn't know, I like to draw.  It's a hobby of mine, though I don't often draw anymore.  I'm working on changing that.  When I look at other artists work, I always focus on what I suppose you could call their "signature character."  I can't help it.  I'm always looking at deviantart and art blogs at peoples main characters. The ones they roleplay, or write stories about.  And it's always made me jealous.  I wanted to make a character like that, and I've tried.  Every time I tried I've failed.

Then I realized without meaning to I'd always had one.  His name is Teiji and I've been drawing him since my junior year of high school.  He's a roleplay character of mine.  Amanda says she can always tell when I'm drawing him. Lol.

The last drawing of Teiji before I left For Japan.

So, when I was mindlessly drawing on the plan yesterday, I ended up having a Teiji appear on the paper.  In a different style than I usually draw anything.

Honestly, at the moment, I love it.  I keep looking at it and wondering how it came out.  That's not how I usually draw faces.  Though it has been a while.

I think maybe it might be because of how happy I was, and how little I was really thinking about what I was doing.  I was just drawing, and not thinking.

Oh.  And this also came out too.

Aptly dubbed Monkey King Ryo, after my friend Ryo whom I used to call a monkey.

♥Myshappy

One week til lift off.

So much excitement recently! I don't even know!

To start off with, I need to make a post about Sakura Con and the wonderful happenings! At least post a few photos and go from there.

And second...

I moved into my new apartment! Words can't describe how nice it is. I live a 7 minute walk from work. When I finish at night, I just walk home. It's refreshing. The stars, and the cool air. Though it has been pretty warm when I've gotten home. I spent the last two nights overheating for about an hour and a half (Before I started to freeze from the cold air sweat combo ><) But it's amazing. I haven't driven a car in a week. That's also why I haven't updated. Days after my last post we got the call that we could move in ASAP. So we did. And didn't get the internet til Friday, then I've been working.

 Most exciting awesome freaky cool news. 

 On Monday (the 30th) I'll be leaving for Tokyo Japan. For one month. By myself. 

FHJBSKJDFBIKSDBFKJDSNFKDSNFKSDD. 

 I've been planning it for months, and haven't quite been able to get it up here (Mostly because of my laziness....) But it's finally here. And I'm stressed about it. Can't help it. I'll be flying there alone, and being in a foreign country for one month. Luckily my friend Anna of Pink Spider Web will be helping me out and spending time with me. She's a godsend, really.

I've been trying to get in contact with many friends in Japan, to see them, but it's been hard. I want to see my friend Kinji's baby! But my friend Yuji (Who is my contact to that whole group of people!) changes his e-mail address like it's his life line. Troublesome.

But regardless! I have SO MUCH TO DO BEFORE I LEAVE! And no time to do it. Ganbarimasu! But while I'm there I plan to blog practically every day, with tons of pictures!

On a side note: I changed my layout. It's the same basic idea, just in a more "me" color scheme. The banner is comprised of my tattoo themes :)

♥ Myshappy

An apology. An understanding.

Unfortunately, no matter how many times I've said I will keep up with this blog, I've slacked and not written anything for four months.  Not for lack of things to write about.  But for lack of personal motivation.  Things have happened in my life in the last four months that I'm so grateful for.  Especially recently.  I've been pushing myself to exceed.  Not as much as I should be, but this past weekend I think I got the kick I needed.  

Which I will go into greater detail in a bit.  But for now I want to apologize to anyone who's read this blog, for giving you something that I haven't put my heart into.

This weekend made me realize that I was trying to be something I'm just not.  In an effort to do something in my life I was going to the easiest route I could find.  Not the route I wanted.  

And it was holding me down.  I'm not light colors and floral prints.  I'm blacks, and reds, and leopard print, and fishnet, and lace.  I admire girls who can pull off gorgeous Gyaru trends.  But I'm not that.  I'm not Onee-kei.  I am rock.  Rock everything.  And I wasn't letting myself be that.  

I don't need to change myself to fit the trends that other girls look so pretty in.  I need to change the trends to make people realize that I am the definition.  

All it took was a Musician and a Fashion Designer to make me realize it again.

Regardless of the pressures, I'm going to fight to become what makes me happy.  I won't apologize for being myself anymore.  And I certainly won't back down.

ガンバリマス！

♥ Myshappy